Acceptance

Site from: http://caregiversconnect.sg/features/blogpost-acceptance Blogpost: Acceptance Michael J. Fox once said: “My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.” I applaud him for his wise, positive perspective, not because I used to be a fan of his, having followed him on soap opera Family Ties and the Back to Future movie trilogy during my teenage years but because he has been a positive role model as person with Parkinson’s Disease. Michael was diagnosed with the disease when he was 30 years old, at the peak of his life and career. He remains positive (and handsome too!) and has since become an activist for research toward finding a cure. He was awarded a doctorate of medicine, Honoris causa, by Sweden's Karolinska Institutet in 2010, for his work in advocating and fundraising for a cure for Parkinson's Disease. The key to his achievement is "Acceptance" - accepting his medical condition, accepting the things he cannot change, and dedicate his time and effort in things he can change for the betterment of the society. He has chosen acceptance over self-pity. His happiness is based on realistic expectations. And most of all, instead of asking what others can do for him, he has asked himself what he can do for himself and others. The satisfaction of being in control and independent has led him to happiness. And his happiness has led to other people’s happiness (his family and friends, and people with Parkinson’s Disease). In my years of work with caregivers, acceptance is one big issue related to caregiving. Some caregivers find it hard to accept the change, or the loss (absence) of ability in their family member(s). Some parents get frustrated when their child with special needs cannot catch up with the development milestones. Some get angry over the unreasonable behaviour of their loved one with dementia. Some get annoyed when their aged parent wets their pants. Don’t we know that children with special needs have learning difficulty, people with dementia have cognitive impairment, and aged people commonly have incontinence? In the midst of all these frustration, anger and disappointment, very often, you can find guilt. We actually feel guilty of thinking or behaving in such a negative way. Does that sound familiar to you? An important part of our life is to learn to accept changes. Do we want to feel bitter over the things we cannot change; or learn to accept those, learn to let go of those, and maximise our energy on things we can change? Which one you think is more do-able? I would like to encourage caregivers to persevere. As change is a constant in life, sometimes an issue gets resolved on its own even without you doing anything about it. Therefore, hang in there! Go get emotional support from fellow caregivers and be inspired by others’ stories - this will definitely help keep your morale high. 迈克尔J.福克斯曾经说过： “我的幸福成长成正比，我接受，我的期望成反比。 ”我为他鼓掌，为他的智慧，积极的角度，而不是因为我曾经是他的粉丝，其次肥皂剧家庭关系和回到未来电影三部曲在我十几岁，但因为他与帕金森氏病的人，他一直是一个积极的榜样。 迈克尔被诊断出患有这种疾病时，他才30岁，在他的生活和职业生涯的高峰期。他仍然乐观（帅！ ） ，并已成为一个研究对发现治愈的活动家。他被授予医学博士学位，荣誉学位，在2010年由瑞典卡罗林斯卡医学院，为他的工作在倡导和筹款为治疗帕金森氏病。 他的成就的关键是“接受” - 接受他的健康状况，接受的事情，他不能改变的，并奉献自己的时间和精力的事情，他可以改变为造福社会。他选择了接受过自怜。他的幸福是基于对现实的期望。最重要的，而不是问别人能为他做的，他问自己他能做些什么，为自己和他人。在控制和独立的满意度，导致他的幸福。导致了其他人的幸福（他的家人和朋友，患有帕金森氏病）和他的幸福。 在我多年的工作与照料者，接受有关照料是一个大问题。有些照顾者很难接受的变化，或损失（缺席）的能力，在他们的家庭成员（次） 。有些家长感到沮丧时，他们的孩子有特殊需求不能赶上与发展的里程碑。有些上火，在自己心爱的人患有痴呆症的不合理行为。有些恼火，当他们年老的父母弄湿自己的裤子。不要我们知道，有特殊需要的儿童学习困难，有老年痴呆症的人有认知功能障碍，老年人常见的有大小便失禁？在所有这些挫折，愤怒和失望之中，很多时候，你可以找到内疚。实际上，我们的思维或行为，这样一种消极的方式感到内疚。这是否听起来熟悉吗？ 我们生活中的一个重要组成部分，是要学会接受改变。我们要过的东西，我们不能改变或学会接受那些觉得苦，学会放手者，并最大限度地提高我们的能源，我们可以改变的事情上呢？你认为哪一个更能够做？我想鼓励照顾者持之以恒。由于生活中的变化是一个常数，有时一个问题得到解决自身，即使没有你做任何事情。因此，挂在那里！资深护理人员得到情感上的支持，并受到启发别人的故事 - 这肯定会有助于保持你的士气高。