Date to remember

Dear Diary, Today is the actual one month since my father passed away since 29 Oct 2013. Well, have things change? I dont really know how to answer. But I dont see any improvements between the family relationship though. In fact, I am getting more tired as all are more tense up and no one has the good tone to speak anymore. Dont know how to make this situation better. Perhaps, it is a problem long lies in the family. I am really getting more and more impatient. Tired of myself really. Cant face what is ahead. There are seemed nothing much going on but alot of things ahead that need to settle. Can I cope? I should actually knowing that I am not the worst at the moment of time. But I am a sheep without a guidance. I know I have a God but how am I going to rely on Him fully when I am so away from Him. Sad... is the only word in my soul. I am causing my soul to thirst. :(